Oh I just thought of another one

I just remembered one other thing I wanted to focus on in the New Year, even though I'm sure it's reactionary and silly...

11) Cut out the damn Aspartame... after a conversation about Aspartame this last week and hearing aspersions cast upon it about how it slows the brain down and is evidently just terrible for your health, I'm going to try and follow up last year's "Let's weed out some caffeine and soda by switching to Carbonated Water" with "Let's cut out any diet soda for a while not made with Splenda and try a fizzy water and Iced Tea approach for a while."

We'll see how it goes...

Plotting New Year's Resolutions

So I'm actually planning on making New Year's Resolutions this time around. Generally I'm pretty dismissive of the concept and see them as "promises you make in order to break." But, I'm going to try and do them publicly, as most people resolve to do, in order to get held to them.

So, I present "Vague First Draft of New Year's Resolutions"-- and if I say "I", I mean "Me." When I say "You," I generally also mean "Me." It's like "The Royal We" so just go with it.

1) Blog regularly again because it brought you a lot of enjoyment. When you sit around and think "I really should post something" for most of the month of December, while other things are going on, maybe that's your brain saying "Shut up and go type."

2) Secure a greater source of income. I took a lot of paid time-off this year. I didn't really realize how much until I realized I made less this year than I have the last 2. This is not good. I don't care how lousy the friggin' economy is either, MY economy has to improve.

3) Return to the routine that involved going to the gym four to five times a week -- or even once, as you're paying for it. Sure you travelled, sure you had things going on, but -- when a commitment is made (Financially *ahem*) then you really have to stick to it. Bite the bullet, revisit the personal trainer, and get back on the stick. Remember: don't be ashamed you failed, be ashamed you didn't try again.

4) Get all the boxes of files organized and the junk thrown out. There's a lot of junk I got through back in April when I put the house on the market, but too many things still wound up in boxes in the basement. Considering last go round I found pay stubs from the 90's (four moves ago), who knows what evil still lurks in the heart of my clutter?

5) Communicate with friends and neighbors more.This includes getting re-involved at ACRNAlumni.com (My fab neighbors especially. They're all really great and I feel like I never talk to them enough.)

6) Take more pictures and Flickr more - that's another thing you were really enjoying. Also, can't convincingly convince people to post naked for you without a legitimate body of work... (kidding... or am I?)

7) Make a list of new books to read while you spend the year reading all the books you've purchased that you haven't read yet (this WILL take a year). I have "A Peoples' History of the United States" and "Guns, Germs, and Steel" still collecting dust... yet I found time to read "Cross Country" by James Patterson. There's something here that brings great shame to my people.

8) Spend less on frivolous things. As I look around my office I realize that while the Beethoven bobble-head was a gift, I did buy myself a Lava Lamp at some point this year. This needs to stop...

9) Define what you find frivolous. The Lava Lamp gives me pleasure. The bobble-head is frivolous. I think frequently that I have too much clutter. Well, more to the point, I KNOW I have too much clutter. Let's clean house (why didn't I think of this when there was more than 3 days left in the tax year to get tax-deductible donations in to Goodwill?) and get all Zen-resolve-y about what I have and what I need.

10) Get the house re-listed and sold. I resolved the last two New Years that this was the year I would move. Let's make third time the charm, huh?

So there's ten resolutions and the list is subject to change and revision, but these are probably ten core ideas that have been bobbing around in my thoughts...

World's Scariest Teddy Bear

World's Scariest Teddy Bear, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

Was sorting some pictures I took last summer in New York and came across this one of a teddy bear in the collection of the Ellis Island museum... I'd forgotten just how spooky it looked.

Tali-ho: Stoppin' Crime!

My whole neighborhood can breathe a bit of a sigh of relief. A gang of... well, pretty much children, calling themselves the "Northside Taliband" were swept up in a sting yesterday. My sources - and yes, for once I have a source - tell me that this was on the QT and hush-hush because it has been in the works for a while.

Very exciting! A huge relief for Northside... although I'm sheltered and hadn't heard word one about them. I guess I should be relieved because if I had I'd have been fearful, but mostly I'm resolving to get more involved in my community again.

I want Grandmommy to pick me up

I want Grandmommy to pick me up, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

My great drive to clean off the hard drive continues... My niece's first birthday party from July 2007 are over at The Jayboy Mansion. Check 'em out!

A terrible name for a beer...

When you think of Athens, you think of the word "Hoegaarden", originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

...and by "Terrible" I mean "FanFrickinTastic!"

Child Prodigy?

Arizona law generally holds that a child lacks competency to be held responsible
for a homicide. However, ..., “We think an exception can be made based on the facts and circumstances … This is precedent-setting.
We're going to charge an 8-year-old with two counts of homicide."

I'm very interested to see what comes of this story. How grisly could this event have been for someone to announce they're probably charging an 8 year old? Not that any murder or accidental death isn't grisly and tragic, but this must've really been... above and beyond.

Most curious, what do you do with this child? Prison? Juvie? Treat him like Rhoda Penmark and just try to put him down like a dog? Because I'm thinking that to, again, announce this to the world... something bad must've really happened here.

UPDATE:

More likely, and unsurprising, the police are being accused of railroading an 8 year old:

"They became very accusing early on in the interview," Brewer said. "Two
officers with guns at their side, it's very scary for anybody, for sure an
8-year-old kid."
A judge has ordered a psychological evaluation of the child,
who was being held at the Apache County juvenile detention
center. Prosecutors aren't sure where the case is headed, Carlyon
said. "There's a ton of factors to be considered and weighed, including the
juvenile's age," he said. "The counterbalance against that, the acts that he
apparently committed."
Carlyon said the boy had no record of complaints with Arizona Child Protective Services. "He had no record of any kind, not even a disciplinary record at school," he said. "He has never been in trouble before."

They're also talking... premeditation:

Under Arizona law, a juvenile under 8 years old is treated as a dependent child.
Charges can be filed against anyone 8 or older, which Melnick argued are
warranted in this case. He said the child didn't act on the "spur of the
moment," though he didn't elaborate on what the motive might have
been.
Defense attorney Mike Piccarreta, who is not involved in the case, said
that each case has to be considered on its own merits but that it would be hard
for him to comprehend that an 8-year-old has the mental capacity to understand
the act of murder and its implications.
"If they actually prosecute the guy, it's a legal minefield," he said. "And, two, society has to make a decision as to whether they want to start using the criminal justice system to deal with 8-year-olds. That doesn't mean you don't have a troubled kid."

I look forward to seeing where this is going. I guess I jumped to a conclusion and went all "Bad Seed," when maybe it was someone pushing back against abuse. That said, we're still talking about an 8 year old who may have committed... premeditated murder?

Too Beautiful for You

Was Leslie Nielsen always a giant ham? Evidently...

Something romantic and silly from the 70's show "Night Gallery"

Summing up Saturday afternoon in Athens

Summing up Saturday afternoon in Athens, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

Posted some pictures from my August trip to Athens over at The Jayboy Mansion. Check 'em out.

It's so easy to title this "Flying Blind"

A British pilot who was suddenly blinded by a stroke during a solo flight was
talked safely down by a military pilot, the Royal Air Force said Friday.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded how refined the instrument technology is for flying and how well pilots are trained. Especially if you're a skittish flier, which I confess to being. It's also nice to read a story with a happy ending, as the pilots sight seems to be coming back as he recovers from his in-flight stroke.

Of course, you click through the read a story like this and imagine a 747 or Airbus, whichever you were on last...

Photos from Phoenix

Phoenix August 2008 098, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

I finally posted my pictures from my Labor Day trip to Phoenix over at The Jayboy Mansion. I'll be editing them all weekend, so the quicker you look, the more embarassing blurry shots and multi-chin angles you're likely to see!

Follow me

Follow me, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

Posting a few odds and ends to The Jayboy Mansion on Flickr this weekend. Come over and check 'em out.

Picture of the day

A great look at oddball Halloween costumes over at Mental Floss features this wonderful Baby (Rock) Lobster in a pot.

Go fish

Every year I try and find something new in the "Halloween" spirit to pick up to have to decorate the house with. This year, my mom brought me a fab light up "Hitch-hiking Ghost" from Disney which is too nice to put outside for fear it'll get swiped...

So I haven't found much this year. Haven't decorated, didn't get into the "holiday spirit" but I did find these really neat "Tragic Royalty" playing cards from Bicycle that glow under black light and have neat, gothic, almost Charles Addams-style royals on them.

Now, I just need someone to play cards with. Gin, anyone?

Mrs. Charlotte Armstrong

-photo of the lovely Litwin sisters,Phyllis Rubenstein and Charlotte Armstrong, courtesy of Cincinnati Daily Photo

A really great and classy lady who I was privileged to spend time with over the last 5 years left us Sunday. I don't know what to say yet besides that I am going to miss "my buddy."

Obituary - Charlotte Anne Armstrong

Charlotte Anne Armstrong, 82, formerly of Amberley Village, died Sunday, Oct. 26 at Hospice of Cincinnati. Wife of the late Sanford H. Armstrong, mother of B.J. Foreman (Arthur), late son Stewart (Jan Armstrong Cobb.) Sister Phyllis Rubenstein (Eli). Grandchildren Elizabeth Foreman (Erik Laursen), Jessica, Sanford (Niki), Susan and Leslie Armstrong, Jonathan Krass (Allie), Matt Krass (Orlee.) Great grandchildren Anna Laursen and Micah Krass. Numerous cousins and four nephews. Memorials: Adath Israel Congregation, Dana-Farber Cancer Institute or Jewish Early Learning Center at Hebrew Union College. Funeral Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. at Weil Funeral Home. Shiva will be observed at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Details at WeilFuneralHome.com.

Lillies in August

Graceful lily, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

Another set up at The Jayboy Mansion. This time it's shots from an August weekend in Columbus, catching the lovely installation of giant Lilypads in the Goodale Park pond.

Will you marry me?

Will you marry me?, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

There'll be new updates of long-delayed pictures going up at The Jayboy Mansion all day. I invite you to check them out.

How much is that moustache in the window?

A certain man..., originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

Uploading a few odds and ends to The Jayboy Mansion this weekend, including art around town and more of my weird hair obsession... check it out.

Makin' a list, checkin' it twice

Now I know what to ask for for Christmas. The Roku Box.

Netflix added "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" to their "Watch Instantly" queue.

(and yes, I know they're adding that feature to the new Xbox, but I'm not a gamer, so what's the point?)

Quote of the Day

"Today might be the day where everybody throws in the towel," said Peter Cardillo, chief market economist for Avalon Partners. "People are saying 'I've had it, I can't take it anymore, I'm selling everything.'"

While I'm far-from-sophisticated about the global markets, and probably keeping my head in the sand, I still feel like this smacks of self-fulfilling (self-defeatist?) prophesy. That said, I'm keeping one eye on the stock ticker all day. (The other'll be on my Kleenex box as I continue to try and shake this tenacious cold.)

Quote of the day

"A pedestrian spotted the tongue just before 8 p.m. in the 3600 block of
Fithian Street...

"Police said today they aren’t sure if it’s a human or animal tongue,
or where it came from."

Why I'm a little worried

A co-worker of mine moonlights as a sports announcer doing color commentary for local high school football games and the like (he's very good). Earlier today he was working on lists of descriptive words for games, like "Clash" and "toe to toe" and commented that the Bengals were coming home from lame games they lost, which their own announcers would describe as "Titanic."

I said "The Bengals aren't in a 'Titanic' struggle. A 'Lusitanian' one, maybe..."

He didn't get it.

Yes, I know it's an oblique reference and I don't care. If a 27 year old man has never heard of the Lusitania I think I'm free to fret a little about the state of American education.*

*This is not unlike when I went to the "Sex and the City" movie and in a fully packed theatre was the only person to get the Diane Arbus joke.

On second thought, maybe I'm just over-educated...

Curmudgeon Role Model

Woman, 89, arrested for keeping football.

I always have said I wanted to someday grow up to pretty much be Walter Matthau. A grumpy old man. However I now have a new role-model for eventually being a curmudgeon. This local 89-year old woman has told them repeatedly, but the neighbor kids' couldn't keep their ball from going into her yard... so she kept it. She' done it before -she says 3 times, though the parent of the kids said 10 - and said she was going to give it back.

Eventually. After they'd learned their lesson.

When police asked Jester to return the ball to the children, she refused. They
warned her twice she would be charged if she did not cooperate, Schaffer said.
They tried to give her a citation, but she refused to sign for it, he said.

Of course,the police took her in and booked her. Some people think they over-reacted, some people think they didn't. I think we all have to agree to disagree. From one viewpoint, what was once a member of a village helping raise a child is now a petty thief. From another, this crazy old coot's stealing from children and it's about as cruel as building a gingerbread house to get them into one's dinner. The only people who can probably really gauge this situation are the friends and neighbors. Is she a mean old lady? Are the kids little hellions who should be put down now for the good of future society? Are they just kids, placing play over respecting property boundaries they don't even understand?

Evidently the max sentence is six months in jail or and a $1000 fine. Somehow I don't see her paying that. All the great old ladies I know are too strong and proud and stubborn to take that kind of guff...

The football, valued at $15, is being held for evidence, Schaffer
said.

Good Sports and Strange Bedfellows

Regardless of how this all turns out on November 4th, you have to admit that Governor Palin is a good sport...

...and Amy Pohler's a frickin' genius.

Earbuds, or, my latest addiction

Earbuds, or "I luvs me my iPhone", originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

A month ago, my old LG flip phone finally died, so I ponied up for ... the iPhone. Big, fancy, filled with bells and whistles. You can email. Browse the internet. Play games. Watch TV. Even... make phone calls...

So far, so good. I like the functions, use it all the time, and justify it partially by remembering that one of it's main features is it's also an iPod. I'dnever owned an iPod before. (Have a little, tiny 256k MP3 player that someone gave me, but this is far, far different.)

This lead to my finally downloading and checking out what has turned out to be a huge bain to my poor, overworked computer: iTunes (boy, it's a pain in the ass to type all this little i-capital letter-little letters words). iTunes led to my latest obsession: podcasts.

I'd been familiar with the concept of podcasts for a while but had never listened to one before. Over the last 4 weeks, I've pretty much been listening to them all the time. I can't imagine how I've lived without them - actually, I'm more amazed I've never made one. You can - much like a blog- blather on about anything you damn well please and then put it out there into the ether... where random whackos (and here I'm whistling, looking around, hoping you don't put two and two together...) can download it and share in the minutia. Some of them are newsy, or I learn something... more of them are just "Why the hell are you still talking." But they all have so far fascinated me. I listen almost too often. In the morning around the house, in the car on the way to work and back, errands, at the gym, around the house, while typing... like now... before bed. I'm enjoying them.

Anyhow, if you're interested, these are what's been in my "heavy rotation": Savage Love, Horror Etc., Feast of Fools, A Prairie Home Companion: The News from Lake Woebegone, Fresh Air with Terry Gross, The Onion Radio Network, The Horror! Old Time Radio, Fox and the City (which Drew-o-rama has been recommending to me for AGES), Dan Carlin's Hardcore History, The Cadaver Lab, Real Time with Bill Maher, and a few more...

So, now that I've probably revealed far more about myself and my interests than I ever meant to let on, go check 'em out!

Then come back and tell me, what are you listening to? Any recommendations?

Shameless Friend Promotion

The most important website I've seen all week.



My dear old friend (and college roommate) Scott and dear new friend Erin are getting married on Saturday, October 25th. I'm really excited for them and wanted to pass along the link through to their site. Read up on 'em, you'll like 'em!

I've got my own little hair club going on...

10/19/08 Bedhead 3, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

It's a dirty little secret of mine that I'm more vain than I let on to (not that you'd know it by posting this picture). Like most people, sometimes I use my cell phone and take a picture of myself to check out how my hair is doing. I've also used it to check if there's anything between my teetn.

Lately, the results have been cracking me up. Inadvertant funny faces or lousy hair... anyhow, I've started -and will continue to -post some of the more enjoyable pictures over at The Jayboy Mansion. Check it out.

A terrible accident

A terrible accident, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

My artist's model lost a leg in a hyper-extension-fall-down-go-boom accident. We've put in for disability.

Shaking off some rust

I'm blaming Twitter.

Twitter, with it's concept of "micro-blogging" has allowed me to spit out 140 character haiku-like bursts of whatever I have on my mind into the world immediately. From work, at the gym, while shopping - any place I'm at, I can Tweet and reach some friends and strangers with whatever is on my mind. Actually, it's expanded beyond my circle of friends to the point where I feel more of a need to filter what I say. For example, while I'm only somewhat inclined to say derisive things about one of the current Vice Presidential candidates that my friends would understand, I don't want to hork off my followers at Bitch Magazine, who may not know me well enough to take it in the spirit whatever remark I make may be proffered.

Anyhow, getting that fix - along with staying busy and trying to skim depression about the economy and job market and upcoming elections like a skier instead of landing face-first in it - has kind of pulled me out of any sort of self-reflection that may take the amount of time I'd devote to posting something here... on my poor, neglected baby of a blog.

So, here I am, crawling home with my tail between my legs, hoping that you, fair reader -- yes, all four of you -- may deign to start casting your attentions this way, where I shall be posting more frequently from here on out...

See you in these here funny pages!

I must say though that Live-Tweeting the debates has been the most fun I've had in ages, though!

Hey, remember me?

"Hey, remember me? It's me, your blog... which you used to love and now
neglect and pay no attention to... you need to come blog on me or I'm going to
start soliciting other writers..."

Well, as you can see I have been "oot and aboot" for awhile. This weekend I'll get photos up at the Jayboy Mansion from my fab trips to Athens, Ohio and Phoenix, Arizona... and hopefully get caught up on some sleep and some posting.

The best part about jet lag isn't the two mornings of totally screwed up sleep, but that second afternoon... when you're so tired and out of whack that you feel like you took a really big Ativan.

If I was always this unflappable yet totally efficient and effective at work, I'd have conquered the world by now.

Sadly, that just might be the best endorsement for Anti-Anxiety meds you will ever see...

This is make you think...

...and maybe cry a little. You can't read this article about Pakistani brides being burned and blinded with acid by husbands and family members in "shame crimes" and still triumphing against their adversity (in little, yet I think especially profound, ways by becoming beauticians and by just NOT hiding) and not be touched by it.

There's also a stunning slide show to underscore just how terribly. I recommend you check it out, then take it to heart and maybe go donate some money to a battered women's shelter or other such charity. I think I will.

Rushing past the sights I'd want to see...

This weekend has gone by in a flash. The past week went just as speedily.

I've joined a gym - lost 5 1/2 pounds in the last 7 days - which I think is damn good, all things considered. I went 5 out of the last 7 days, and will be in every other day this week. I just kind of eased into a decision I'd been batting around for a long time now. I'm not getting any younger. I've never been the most physically active person in the world. If the body is a temple I tended to treat mine much like the Taliban would, all but blowing it up.

I have always looked at my father as being a healthy, active man. He's constantly seemed more fit than I have ever been. About a year ago, he was diagnosed with diabetes and I learned just how much in runs in the family. Well, when someone who's always been trim and active has to make major modifications at sixty... you realize that your genetic imprint is probably running a speedier course towards the same results.

So here I am, on the elliptical every day and taking a small personal training package to learn how to properly use the circuit and weight training machinery. I'm going to get fit, while there's still time.

I've already made a lot of dietary changes over the last few months. I'd started South Beach and did really well whenever I was in town -- still a believer that vacation calories don't count. Sadly, my first workout proved that you need some carbohydrates in your body if you don't want to wind up laid out on the floor trying with all your will power not to vomit after exercising.

Today, I just spent a good 3 hours prepping a weeks' worth of black beans and rice lunches, along with roasted veggies, 2 days of fish, 2 days of eggs, and I'm about to apportion out a week's worth of salads. I have after work appointments Monday and Wednesday, so I now have to start hauling around 2 meals in my lunch box on those days. I guess this is all going to be about discipline; about habit and repetition. Staying organized at home and on the road. It's going to be big changes and I really hope I make the most of them.

I'm not sure if I'll follow the Nala example and try to start getting up at the crack of dawn to get it in before work... but I do see myself stopping by after. I saw the results he produced the first time he hit the gym and knowing he's going again is inspiring to me. I always think how I need to make these changes -- my health, getting a job; but I'm using either "feeling blue" or "no energy" as an excuse. Well, I won't have those excuses anymore. If I am afraid of results, or change, or testing myself -- tough. It's time to do it.

Let's hope I get motivated and active and soon find a new job that would make getting to these gyms VERY inconvenient! I'll take the new habits with me though... til then I'll be "up in the gym just workin' on my fitness."

(god, I just LOVE an obvious musical cue)

Where I've been (make it quick)

I got back from a whirlwind trip to Columbus over the weekend and hit the gym on Monday. Evidently you need fuel, in the form of carbohydrates, before you do 40 squats... thanks, personal trainer, I luvs ya fer lettin me know... I did more exercise than I thought I was capable of and spent 30 minutes lying on the gym's floor trying not to vomit. Good times!

I've been in miserable pain for the last two days and haven't hardly been able to claw my way to the 'puter after work. That said, at least I worked a lot out today...

I promise this weekend to get caught up on posting and pictures!

Ten pounds lighter and terrified...

What's up with all the beheadings in the news lately? One in Canada, one in Brazil, and now Greece. As we all know, three means a trend. Is this the new hipster lifestyle choice? When will the trend-tracking article come out? Is decapitation the new black?

I'm making light, but seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people? The two "domestic violence" beheadings make me terribly sad, but the stranger chopping on the bus in Canada is especially chilling to all of us who travel...

UPDATE:
It gets worse, as if that is possible.

She said Vince Weiguang Li had a plastic bag containing his victim’s ear, nose
and part of a mouth in his pocket when officers arrested him. The only response
officers received from him was: “’I have to stay on the bus forever,”’ Dalmyn
said.

As someone who's traveled a lot I guess I've been very blithe about my personal security. There's something about this story that bothers me to no end. Poor young victim? Random savagery- and evidently it was random - that comes out of nowhere? The precious shortness of life? (God I hate being reminded of that) Have we just maxed out our capacity for dealing with crowds and we've hit our "Sink," where we just go to madness?

Pet Packaging Peeve

Why am I so skeeved out by the people who were going through everyone's recycling bins as I left the house this morning?

There's been a rash of it over the last few months. You put all your recycling out on the curb at night and when you're leaving the house in the morning it looks as tossed as your trash does when the raccoons get into it.

This morning I set my recycling out and looked up to find the dumpster divers. There were a couple of yuppie-looking types in Tie-Dye T-shirts who hopped out of their SUV and started bin-diving with big trash bags. As they were a cheerful looking bunch in matching shirts I'm tempted to believe they're part of some organization or charity. This however still files them under the heading "just nasty people" for me.

I took my recycling back in. It just bugged me that they were so nakedly riffling through my neighbor's garbage. I'm thinking I must be some kind of a tight ass (just some kind?) but I'm averse to their making money on the back of my empty empty-calorie containers. I know Rumpke does, and I know I'm being irrational, but at least I feel like I'm choosing where it's going, rather than the scavengers taking some sort of perceived "advantage." (After reviewing that sentence, I'm questioning if I don't need some meds, frankly.)

As I was getting into the car the guy called "Didn't want us going through your stuff?" and I really had to fight the urge to turn around and bawl him out for what really is pretty harmless... so here, I guess, is the question: am I offended that they were parasitically making money off of every one's refuse (illuminating that I could be doing it myself if I chose to go through the hassle) or that they were a couple of SUV-driving prats?

Or is it just one more offence piled on top of the random, ever changing junk yard that's being set up at the next door neighbors house? I look at their rusting refrigerators and shopping carts that pop up from time to time and feel powerless and disrespected (especially with all the work I've put into keeping the house in a show-able condition). Then, I get to turn around and find someone else literally "poaching" off of me. Maybe I'm just bucking for some social lice-shampoo...

Pet Plane Peeve

Everyone has a few pet peeves about flying.

Personally my problem is that I'm getting seriously tired of the douche bags who refuse to turn off their phones and other electronics when told to on a plane. You know we see you, palming your glowing blackberry or covering your iPod's glowing white screen... hell, half the time I can hear the music still coming out of your headsets.

Now I know you just dealt with the TSA, you're paying too much, you've been herded like cattle, and you have a little dick. That said, following the direction and turning off the item you've been asked to turn off DOES apply to you, . It will not emasculate you, and, no, the world won't end if you miss that one last, super important call. If you were someone where it would, you wouldn't be riding coach on Southwest, you jackass.

Trust me that if I can eschew my block-rockin' beats and texts from my many admirers for 2 hours, you can at least skip watching whatever that stupid tits 'n' jeeps program that was on your iPod during take off and instead, start it at 10,000 feet.

Flying is tough enough nowadays. I'm not the best flyer in the world. The chick I flagged on the way to New York and seat mate I barked at on the way home today are just the beginning. I'm going to become an airline electronics Nazi. Just to be mean. I know full well the chances of these things bringing down a plane are less than slim and encroaching on none (cell phones excepted), but we all obey a few simple directions to keep a little civility in the process, and if you can't do that, well then, I'm happy to make sure the overworked, underpaid, flight attendant busts your ass once I tattle to her like I was Angela on "The Office."

Don't be a dick, just turn the damned thing off, okay?

Back in Business

I'm back from my weekend of amazing family fun in Orlando. Mom loved her surprise family picture, my niece enjoyed her present of dress up costumes, and I enjoyed sunshine and totally blowing the diet out of the water for 3 days. Now we're back and it's time to get on track!

Pictures and anecdotes from Chicago and this weekend will be up soon. I'll keep you posted. It's been a tre' long day today though. I'm off for sleep and all the sweet dreams I can muster. After all, it's a return to real life tomorrow.

Nooooooooooooooooooo!

MTV is going to remake "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

There was a point, right at the end of high school, right before college (in the cradle, there) where I was going every Saturday night to the Dayton affair. I was even in it once, as Dr. Scott, in the wheelchair and everything. It was innocent fun, silliness, and a very cherished event in my life, even if I haven't been back in 10 years.

That movie has grown such an unusual crowd of fans, and is such a... door into a world of variety and difference and "Rich Weirdos" -- and weird richness -- that it's perfect as it is. Untouched. Unrevised.

Leave it alone, MTV, just air the original.

Besides, who the hell are you going to get who could fill Tim Curry's heels?

Prescient?

Your Horoscope for JULY 17, 2008:

Today you could have some sort of revelation about your romantic life.
Maybe you will suddenly understand something that has been perplexing you. You could have insight into a problem with your partner. Maybe you will come up with a new way of approaching this issue. It's a good time to bring a positive, inventive spirit into your personal life. With a gentle touch and an open heart, much can be accomplished.

... and the next day a Polack tried to pick me up in the Sausage line at the festival. I never get picked up. Now that's the kind of horrorscopes I can deal with!

Black Canary is not a "Biker Bitch," thank you very much!

Possibly even more exciting than the Tippi Hedren in "The Birds" Barbie is the forthcoming Black Canary Barbie.

Exciting in more ways than one, it seems...

Shockingly it seems that the combination of black leather and fishnets has the overreaction brigade up in arms with all the "It's filthy" comments. Personally, though, I think the only thing really trashy about the outfit is the bangs. It's more Pam Anderson in "Barb Wire" than anything else, really.

I remember Black Canary in the outfit she's mostly sported, especially from the 40s to the 70s... the Bolero jacket, bustier, and fishnets look was a lot more innocent compared to this Biker Bitch Barbie look. I don't know whether to collect her or ask her put a cigarette out on my ass while I'm tied up...

My unsolicited advice? Drop the leather and go for the classic '40's look and give her the Veronica Lake "Peek-a-boo." Some people will still complain but I bet the sales would be better.

Dirty, Dirty Daleks

So THAT'S why they had the suction cups... (Not safe for work)

Sedentary Centenary

Well, it's my centenary, this makes post number 100. I've got some notes to put up on the joy that was the trip to Chicago (it really IS my kind of town), Pitchfork, pictures, and all kinds of odds and ends... stay tuned .

In brief, I had a fabulous time. Really great. I got to see great old friends, make a few new ones, and catch lots of music. We had beer and festival food and got some sun. I saw a Tiffany Dome and had a Bloody Mary made out of beer. By Sunday I knew which train I needed to take.

I have to admit it was kind of disappointing to come back from the festival... the ride into seeing the Cincinnati skyline is just a tad unimpressive after leaving behind Chicago's. No offense... but Cincy just isn't working hard enough for me to make up for what it lacks in size.

Anyhow, I only have a 3 day layover here before I jaunt off to Orlando, so I hope to get my notes here and some photos up over at The Jayboy Mansion. These things just take time and I don't know how much of it I'll have free.

One of the best things about a music festival, though, is the music. I rediscovered Missions of Burma and Public Enemy, and got tastes of new faves like !!!, Dizzie Rascal, and The Hold Steady.

...of all the things at Pitchfork...

I think I'm most interested to find out what a "Fuck Button" is.

(That and to figure out why I've been saying Gang of Four is playing tonight when evidently it's Mission of Burma...)

...and they're off!

Vacation all I ever wanted, Vacation got to get away...

I'm off to Chicago for the Pitchfork Music Festival (finally) and to see dear friends. Should be an adventure. Back on Monday!



Sadly, this band will NOT be playing...

A calm moment of reflection?

May I just take this one tiny, little, quiet lull in my insanely busy persnickety detail morning that's had 3 different curve balls in it to just jump up and down, stomp, shout and say:
"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"
(with just the tiniest soupcon of "Please stop babbling while I'm working.")

Thank you.

I feel refreshed.

That is all for now.

4 More Days

It's been a crazy-busy day. Half of work is out and the other half wants me ordering EVERYTHING. My problem is my brain is totally on the trip to Chicago coming up Friday. In my brain I'm already packed. I just can't wait... so I'll be a little sporadic this week. I just need this "Trip to Me" so badly. See friends, let the hair down -- I'll have earned THAT by Friday, too...

That's Sebadoh up there with "Skull." They're playing Friday night at Pitchfork with Public Enemy and Gang of Four.

Damage I've Done

-apropos of Mr. Farve...

-I started thinking of Carrie and Keith moving to Portland, and my one visit there, back in college. The Heads were playing a bar we walked by... part of me really wanted to go.

-I think everyone thinks this ten times a day

You left me, you broke my heart, but I moved on Mr. Farve. I. Moved. On.

I do hope Mr. Farve doesn't start whining too much.

Evidently, he's just gotten the bad news that the Packers are going to stick him into a "Back up role," not releasing him from his contract now that he's changed his mind about his "retirement."

He decided his news may have been a little premature, but it seems they decided to go on with someone else as starting quarterback. Now that the dithering Farve decided he's not retiring after all, they're sticking with their acting quarterback and holding him to his contract... and sending him back to the back of the line since he left it.

"We've communicated that to Brett, that we have since moved forward,"
Thompson said. "At the same time, we've never said that there couldn't be some
role that he might play here. But I would understand his point that he would
want to play."When asked whether that role might be as a backup or coach,
Thompson said: "not a coach."Added McCarthy: "He did ask about that,
though."

I do hope, Mr. Farve, you accept it with dignity or grace. Either retire or be a team player and be the back-up quarterback... if other people move on you have to accept that as a consequence of a decision.

You're flighty, they made other plans, suck it up. No cuts.

Worth the wait

I thought this was just about the coolest thing ever. A pair of siblings who survived the Holocaust were reunited after 66 years. Enough to make one to believe in happy - although belated - endings.

...the people in your neighborhood...

So my neighbors have added a lovely new set of patio furniture to their outdoor seating area...

Or rather, a broken down, upended sleeper sofa, full laundry hamper, and oil change pan have been dumped next to a dead guys car that's been sitting there for 6 months and now was weeds growing up into it...

Seriously, I don't know what to do. These aren't exactly the kinda neighbors I have a relationship with. Rather their the ones I call the cops on when they're having knock-down, drag-out screaming fights at 2 AM.

On Sunday I have an open house. Trying to sell the damn thing. I don't need this ghetto-UNfabulous horse shit going on... I'm not sure how to address it though. Do I have any recourse instead of walking over and whimpering "um, could you please do something about the couch?"

Did I miss something?

Your Horoscope for JULY 09, 2008:

You could be ready to move forward with a relationship. Maybe you have met
someone who has captured your heart. You might want to ask them out for a date.
Or maybe you have been working on improving an existing romance. Your
relationship could be going through some much-needed changes. Don't be afraid to
evolve and to change while still maintaining this close bond. You could be
pleasantly surprised at the progress you can make with your sweetheart.

Ummm, did I get left out of something? I haven't met anyone lately... unless I'm turning 'em on in the check out lane... I think someone is being told by the cosmos to network for more than a job!

On a theme, I stumbled across these videos of the Blue Man Group's show and thought about our trip to Vegas and how James almost proposed to Carrie there... I woulda wanted it during this number.

Short version (Remix):


Long Version:

Needing a break but taking too much of one

It's hard to admit when you need a break or a change. I'm afraid I need to not only admit it, but shout it from the rooftops.

I've spent a 3-day run completely unstimulated at work and vegging at home. I'm caught up on work, the house however needs work, but a lack of motivation has me planted in front of the boob tube. I even have trouble getting around to logging on here. I'm wistfully longing for the trip to Chicago next week like a kid a expecting Christmas.

This is not good. The brain is going to turn to mush. I'm even feeling guilty about the "Brain Candy" book I'm reading and want to suddenly reach for that damn Howard Zinn that's sitting on the bookshelf, taunting me with it's "I'm educational and interesting, but I'm 800 pages of small type and your lazy ass just can't handle that..."

Also, I'm realizing that I'm not sure how much I should really expound on just how unstimulated I am right now, since, well, when you're resume is out you can never be too sure who's googling you. Actually, I just googled me. You can get to plenty of stories about me and Ken and the lawsuit. There's also linkedin, Facebook, and this little flattering piece of brilliance:



Actually it loops back around and I realize I'm not sure I'd want a prospective employer seeing this... but I wear my heart on my sleeve and I have to be taken as found.

So, okay, I'm not sure what to do about the lack of career satisfaction besides network and regroup. The house has a showing Sunday, so it's gotta get cleaned. I guess it's time to kill the television and break out the Zinn.

Big Huge Props...

... to popjustice for turning the snark OUT and making me laugh so hard with the last line of this post about the new Grace Jones video that I think I peed a little. Check it out!

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't celebrate the 15-year anniversary

Gee, evidently people are starting to think that America's soldiers are capable of acting like responsible adults.

Congress should repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" law because the presence of
gays in the military is unlikely to undermine the ability to fight and win,
according to a new study released by a California-based research center.

and:

"Evidence shows that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly is unlikely to
pose any significant risk to morale, good order, discipline or cohesion," the
officers states.

To support its contention, the panel points to the British
and Israeli militaries, where it says gay people serve openly without hurting
the effectiveness of combat operations.

I've never understood "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Partially, I've never understood the homophobic "undermine unit morale" argument because it sells short our military and assumes their incapable of putting any differences aside -may as well re-segregate if you follow that argument.

Mostly, though, I always thought that if Clinton was going to broach the topic that he shoulda said "Hey, I'm chief now. Toe the line." Just pushed it through instead of a wimpy, "Hey, you know and I know" compromise like that policy. I also never understood the shortsightedness of throwing gay translators of Arabic out of the military (and revoking their security clearances and all) in the middle of A FUCKING WAR.

But, I've never been enough of a "Cut your nose of to spite your face" type...

I also worry about what our talking head "Culture Warriors" on channels like Fox News are going to say about this. They'll probably take offense to be compared to the Israeli and British militaries...

Anyhow, I am very enthused to see some sensible recommendations coming out about this ridonkulous policy.

We are, in fact, quite screwed

2 headlines on MSNBC.com this afternoon, one presented right over the other:

G-8 wants to halve global emissions by 2050
Newsweek: Why the G-8 doesn't matter

It still amazes me that our national policy is "nah, we're not going to curb our pollution... ya'll do that." I really wonder why we think we're such "leaders" and setters of example when we can't even deign to get together and turn our American Know-How to preservation and clean air and hedging our bets with this oh-come-on-it's-not-"iffy"-you-enormous-jackasses science of preventing"Global Warming" for no other reason than that it's the right thing to do and there's money to be made in it?

Oh, wait, I can't be bothered to add 2 hours to my commute every day and get up an hour earlier to take the bus... least I'm not flying to Chicago for Pitchfork. I'm taking the bus - that's curbing my emissions by sharing with others. Giga will be driving nearly 4 hours round trip to join me... sigh... we have a lot of work to do.

I'm going to try and actively pay attention to my emissions. I keep my air conditioning off more than on. By coasting to save gas I'm turning into a far-less-aggressive driver. We'll have to see what else I can do... because everything I do will be cancelled out by Billions of Asians buying those cheap enough to afford Tata cars...

Aaak, I shoulda stayed in Europe. I'm a pinko, French-loving Lefty.

I want candy. I feel shame.

I am so weak. Day 2 of South Beach Diet and I'm having cravings for sugar. I don't even have a sweet tooth. I'm a "Salty" person, yet here I am, ready to kill for an M&M and having weird sense memory flashbacks to Peanut Buster Parfaits...

Just sick.

Over the course of today, I ate (and I promise not to do this again):

-1 big travel-mug sized (see, how I dissemble there?) cup coffee w/ Splenda (that's not really something I ate, I shouldn't lead with that)
-2 hard boiled eggs, turkey sausage medallion
-12 oz V8
-15 almonds
-8 ozs black bean/garbanzo bean/green pepper mix with salt pepper and cumin
-turkey lunch meat slices with a wedge of cheddar and a slice of tomato (a bread-less sandwich)
-can of diet coke
-a 16 oz container of green salad with mushrooms and lite balsamic vinegar dressing
-8 oz last nights roasted veggies
-5 slices boneless skinless chicken pieces (sliced breasts)
-big plate of green salad
-lots of water
-diet Iced tea mix (no sugar)
-1 cup cherry jello...

wow, am I tedious or what?

Heavy handed thematic song choice du jour with wonderfully-coincidental big red lips for it's youtube image:

Eighty Five

NeonDancing 2, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

Between June 6th and July 6th I put up 84 posts on here and have kept myself entertained. I'm having a great time and thank you for joining me.

That said, I'm taking the day off and will be back tomorrow with some odds and ends (and more edited pictures over at The Jayboy Mansion).

More'n the fire's hot

More'n the fire's hot, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

I've gotten the 4th of July Hoffner park night pictures up over at The Jayboy Mansion. They're about half tagged and I'm not done editing... but worth a look-see.

In other news, wish me luck. Monday starts the DIET. I'm taking Nala up on his challenge -cum-dare to try and shake 40 lbs off by Labor Day. I don't expect to lose the whole 40 - hell, I'm not even sure where I'm starting as my scale is either a) busted, or b) doesn't go up that high...

I'll be using South Beach as a guide (I did so well on Atkins, but fell back in love with my sugars) and I'm recommitting to my treadmill. We'll go from there. Keep me honest.

Attentions and Details

Dancing Girl, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

I've also started a set for all the fun and "Fiddled-with" pictures that make me happy over at The Jayboy Mansion. Check it out, becasue it'll change from time to time.

Happy 4th!

New Patriot (detail), originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

My Northside 4th of July Parade pictures are up over at The Jayboy Mansion. Check 'em out!

Look at me!

A HUGE tip of the hat to Miss Liz, who so kindly took a few moments when she was feeling creative and whipped me up a new logo idea that I am deeply enamored with and most proud to display. I am proud as a peacock and preening my feathers.

36 Degrees

What a terrific Saturday.

Last night I hoofed it down on a whim to catch Dante's Gypsy Circus with it's fire dancers at the Hoffner Park festivities (pictures coming soon). They were even better than last year - and I enjoyed them immensely then. If you ever have the chance to catch them, please do.

Anyhow, I stayed up late - even had a couple beers - and slept in this morning. A nice healthy breakfast, a little TV, a lot of Internet, a little reading, and a trip down to Northside business district. I was going to stick my head in at the Happen Inc. open house but first pass I didn't see anyone in there at all and second pass they had crowd. So, I took a walk around and took some pictures and got some sun. Having gotten too much sun (a polite way of saying "sweating like a pig") , I ducked into Shake It Records, where I saw some books from the Disinformation line I'd like to buy ("Everything you know about God is wrong" and "Under Ground!"). I also picked up a used copy of the first album from one of my favorite bands, Placebo.

I know they're not everybody's cuppa, but the "sound," the color, of their music, it always reminds me of how I sometimes feel in my own head. They sound like my mood sometimes, I'm not sure how else to explain it.

I also sometimes compare them to being in the house with the windows open and the lights off during a heavy summer mid-morning rain shower. No other way to describe them.

Here's a song from their first CD:



I wrapped up the evening with a going away party for Keith and Carrie Hagan-Gray and their adorable son Eamon, easily the world's most concerned looking child. They're off to conquer Providence, Rhode Island, and I wish them all the best. Fabulous people with amazing home brew and green thumbs.

A great day and a lot of sunshine. I'm in now and looking forward to a nice night. Take a shower, put on the PJs and watch a "Film Crew" DVD - "Wild Women of Wongo." Yes, you should be jealous. It's a nice way to spend an evening... unless, you know, you're going out on a date or to a party or something, in which case you're probably having a little more fun. But not by much.

Super-Connected now...

...all the freaks gather round."

I was sitting around reviewing the pictures I put up yesterday from James and Carrie's wedding back in September and others that I took today at the parade that feature people I know. Cleaned up a few Facebook tasks earlier. Updated the bloggy-blog here.

On the whole, between Flickr, Facebook, email, and here, I'm feeling more connected to my friends than I have in ages. I just wish I'd gotten 'round to doing all this sooner. It's my own little corner of the world and the web, and I'm glad to have it.

Senator No

Jesse Helms died. He was 86.

If I think of something nice to say about him, I'll expand on the topic.

Dampness Marched On

Well, the rain was a constant drizzle, but the Northside 4th of July parade happened! Another success! I do love the "DIY" ethic of the Northside parade... I bet the rain kept some groups home, but it was still a good 50 minutes of marching fun.

Sadly, my camera's battery died, but it was toward the end of the parade, right after my friends in GLSEN went by, so I got lots of good stuff. My aim is to get the pictures up of my Flickr page by the end of the weekend... but I have to charge the battery first.

Now, my damp, drizzled on self needs to dry off and rustle up some food...

Sex-for-Gas sting in Ft. Mitchell

How badly do you wanna get to where you wanna go?

This is not all "Secret Diary of a Call Girl," or "Pretty Woman." This is just sad. Sad and awkward.

Northside squishes during the 4th

Got up this morning to the sound of rain drumming on the tin roof of the porch. I'm wondering now if the parade is cancelled... it's only a quarter to ten so chances are good a decision hasn't been made yet. I hope it's not, I've been looking forward to it.

Meanwhile, in the land of "Worst. News. Ever.":

Seems my coffee maker is on the fritz. It turns on, starts to warm up then beeps just like it does when it finishes the brewing cycle. I tried putting it on the cleaning cycle but it won't work through that either (and is now full of vinegar, to boot). The manual has no information. I'm going to have to try an online search then, if that doesn't work, call the customer service number.

No coffeemaker? This will NOT do! It makes you fall on your knees and bellow:

"KAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNN!"

Having seen this however, I'm inclined to think the coffemaker is done for...

Your Horoscope for JULY 04, 2008:

Just when everything was going along so smoothly, something occurs to put
your emotions in an uproar. Some minor accident may trigger your temper and
cause you to spiral down into negativity. Try not to let yourself overreact in
this way. Your nerves are just on edge. You would benefit greatly from some
relaxing activity, such as a sauna or a workout.

Yay! They didn't drop our asses!

Yay! They didn't drop our asses!, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

My pictures from the wedding of James and Carrie are up over at The Jayboy Mansion. Check 'em out!

Buzzkill

I leave the house and walk all the way down the street and turn the corner. Suddenly it started to POUR. So here I am, wrapped in towels. By the time I got back to the house, even my wallet was soaked.

Weatherblocked! No carnival for you.

Sad Clown.

Of course, it stopped raining 20 minutes later... but I'm still soaked.

Viva la Carnivale

I'm unafraid of the heavy-handed reference...


Off to the Carnival tonight!

Northside rocks during the 4th

Come down to the park tonight and join me at the Faboo 3rd of July party. Last year there were the most amazing fire dancers and this go round they're supposed to even have "Burley-Q."

If you can't make that feel free to come and hang for the Northside 4th of July parade - starts at noon and passes right by my street! I may even put some wine to chill for afterwards - it's a holiday, you can drink at 1PM. I said so.

You can find the schedule here. All I know is I want to see what "Panty Raid" is all about.

You make the rockin' world go round...

The song that has been stuck in my head since I looked up just how many calories were in that damn sandwich I had for lunch.

Trying to eat better, I kept a list of what I had today. Part of firing up the metabolism is eating breakfast - which I usually don't do. I spent years noshing on a Dr. Pepper or Cuppa with a couple of Camels, but I eschew such destructive behavior now...

Brekkies was 2 hard boiled eggs, a little turkey sausage medallion, a can of V8 low sodium and my coffee to go (probably 16 ounces, with Splenda). At work, of course, there were donuts, and I am a weak, weak little man, so we can add a cream-cheese filled triangle-y pastry thing to the list.

Lunch was the sandwich of evil, the chips of death, and 1 1/2 Dr. Peppers. (I'm SO ashamed!)

Dinner... well, after dwelling on the sandwich I had a salad that consisted of lettuce, cucumber, celery, mushrooms, unsalted almonds and just a splash of light Balsamic Vinegar dressing (even that stuff is mostly oil it turns out - sigh).

Then I was hungry so I had a turkey sandwich. A slice of swiss and little mayo, with a big wedge of tomato on it.

Sigh. Accountability is for the birds.

This is gonna be a lot of work.

Lunch is Fattening

Lunch is Fattening, originally uploaded by JayKulpa.

I thought this was going to be a diet-friendly sandwich. "Cold cuts, how bad could they be for you?"

The whole sandwich - 1070 calories. 450 from fat.
With the chips? - 1220 calories, 510 from fat.

1220 calories. Before I added the damned Dr. Pepper...

No wonder people hate to diet! Evil hides everywhere!

The most ominous things...

...can just show up on your doorstep...

I have 2 1/2 months to lose 80 pounds, get a really amazing job, and an amazingly younger and hotter spouse...

I just. I think I might actually go to this. I'm liking who I turned into well enough, and I hope my peers grew up well... or got fatter than I did. Either way, what bliss?

Frescuit, anyone?

We got coupons at work today for a free "Maple Baked Frescuit" off the new Wendy's Lunch Menu.

1) This thing looks nasty, like a dried out scone with bugs that got caught in the batter...
2) the coupon has an all brown-and-yellow aesthetic. Sausage, Hash Browns, coffee cup, weird cheese flap thing.

3) The facing coupon is for a free Breakfast Sandwich or Breakfast Burrito. The burrito is pictured. It makes the Frescuit look appetizing.

I of course will be getting one and will let you know. I'm thinking this is going to be deep in the zen of "Hey! This milk is sour! Taste it!"

Straw Men, Cyphers, and Paper Tigers?

Nolan asked on Facebook today for responses for an art project he's starting:

What/who is a character from a movie/book/story/comic/tv show/etc. that for some reason you have always felt some weird connection with? Like you always felt you related to them on some strange level or knew how they felt. Or someone that represents who you are, how you feel or felt, etc. This doesn't have to be some well known character. It can even be a pee-on or some really minor, insignificant character.

My answer:

Rhoda Morgenstern?

When you watch "The Office" you always hope you're a Jim and not a Dwight
or a Michael... but you're not... kinda like hoping you don't relate to anyone
in "Shortbus"... but you do.

The only character in "Catcher in the Rye" that I could stand was Phoebe,
the little sister.

Virgins in slasher movies? The extras in shows who scream when the little
margarine tub airbags drop from the ceiling in scenes on airplanes? Henchmen in
jump suits working in Volcano hideouts for super-villains in Bond films?

I think there's a lot of characters we all see ourselves in/as/through. Different names came to me all day for different reasons. Dorothy Zbornak. The "Tales of the City" series made me empathize with Mary Ann Singleton and Michael Tolliver in equal amounts (though when I re-read it, I really wanted to be like DeeDee). Saffron Monsoon (possibly the most pathetic character ever on TV). Jim Halpert. Kitty Pryde was my favorite X-Man as an adolescent. When it comes to which of your friends is which "Sex and the City" character, I'm a Miranda through and through. I'm more Scully than Mulder, but I think I'm a Mulder. Heather Hudson from "Alpha Flight," but before she put on that fucking suit. Anyone who watched "Freaks and Geeks" and winced frequently can relate to this line of thinking. I was always exceedingly fond of Anya from "Buffy," mostly the overly literal dialogue that generally matched my blunt inner observations about others. That voice you never let out.

Mostly though, we are all everyman, and by everyman, I mean Charlie Brown.

The whole point of most narrative is to tell a story others can relate to. What is fiction for if not to learn something about the contents of your own mind (as that is where "The Human Condition" resides)?

I tip my hat to Nolan for inspiring a great day of reflection for me (so much nicer than actually attending to my work) and hope his project (a painting) will be a smashing success.