Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Yucky Movies of October: Revenge of the Living Dead Girls

24) Revenge of the Living Dead Girls

Evidently in France, pouty farmgirls will sit around and have breakfasts with their mothers while wearing really elaborate underwear... well, they do according to this movie.

A total piece of junk about girls who die from drinking poisoned milk and wind up coming back to life when more of the poison is dumped at the graveyard, there's little to redeem this one beyond it's sheer eighties-ness. When blackmailing a businessman, a woman has to bring in a huge video camera with a separate deck to record the tape on. Everyone's hair has that huge, puffy quality you only find from actually having chlorofluorocarbons in your hairspray.

I have a few questions. How could these girls have totally dessicated in, what, two days? They all have drawn, wrinkled gray faces, though only one has hands that have also withered (meaning she has these overdone, superlong gloved fingers that look veiny and knotted). Also, why're these girls stilted zombies one minute and totally spry the next? Of course, it's obvious the only character effects in this film are some rubber gray rubber masks, because they didn't even bother with body make-up. The naked zombies with giant rubber heads are a real hoot.

For that matter, why does the female exec blackmail her boss with video and make a big deal out of showing her bra to her corporate scientist? What ever happened to good, hard, old-fashioned work? Why do the zombies have different hair in death than they do in life? Why do they decide to go swimming? How big a pig is the scientist that he banged a zombie? Ugh, don't think about it too hard. You'll go stupid.

This is also one of those badly dubbed foreign movies of a certain vintage where all the voices are vaguely familiar. Is anyone aware of whatever group of people dubbed all these flicks? These same voices show up in just about every 70s and 80s horror and naughty flick to come out of continental Europe. The acting is bad, the character motivations are worse, but much is (unintentionally?) hysterical. There's a scene with a sword and another with a pregnant woman that are also in more bad taste than I'm used to... and I just watched Gutterballs.

I can only recommend this one to people trying to hone their audition to be the next "MST3K" -- because there's a lot here to mock and wince through... though you will file away the idea of breaking off your high heel in someone's eye socket for later use.

C'est merde.

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