Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Yucky Movies of October: Graduation Day

7) Graduation Day

Wow, what a stinker. Someone is killing off the high school friends of a girl who died during a track meet. Is it the hammy coach? Is it the hammy older sister, home on shore leave? Is it Blondie, the hammy receptionist? Perhaps the hammy leisure suit wearing lounge singer of a music teacher? The hammy hypocritical cop?

Well, when watching Graduation Day you won't ask any of these questions. Because you won't care!

With an epee through the throat of a girl who's nonsensically shaving her legs in the locker room sink, the de rigueur 80's slo-mo decapitation, and a football with a sword spiked through it thrown at a player, the kills aren't imaginative but they at least occur with some frequency. Okay, what happens to the pole vaulter IS pretty good.

Our first full look at the killer he's dressed in sweats and a fencing mask. It turns out that a fencing mask is no where near as ominous as a hockey mask... even if it does do the only decent acting in the movie.

Just about every adult character lurks at some point so it can be implied they maybe are the killer. Christopher George does it best... and by "best" I mean "hammiest."Linnea Quigley shows up here, looking far too young to open her shirt up in a movie and Vanna White has a role but doesn't even get a close up. In fact, she's almost always shot from the back, looking away from the camera (it's like she knew it'd come back to haunt her one day). The whole mess is so inexpertly shot and edited it's hardly worth watching.

Wait that's not entirely true. The painful, awful "Graduation Day Blues" singalong has to be seen. Then mocked. The fact that it's followed by a Rollerdisco dance scene is just icing on the cake. Between the incredibly dated 80s music and the score's cues that are stolen straight from "Psycho," it'll make your ears bleed, this one.

As an artifact of the times it's worth a watch and the story holds together better than some of the slashers of the era, but on the whole there's not much to recommend here.

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