Isabella Rossellini and the Sundance Channel have hooked up for the creepy-cum-educational series, Green Porno .
In a series of short films, she plays a series of insects to -and I'm only guessing here- help teach people how the animal kingdom reproduces in some scary ways. It's more Nickelodeon than Wild Kingdom, filled with bright colors and playful imagery... it almost feels like a cute, educational bit from "Sesame Street" except for the subject matter and the truly odd narration Ms. Rossellini provides. Her unique accent and willingness to dress up as a snail and talk about her anus being on top of her head (and poo on her face then mutter "unfortunately")... her breathy comparison of snail sex to sadomasochism... truly disturbs me. Truly.
I don't know which line is better:
"If I were a firefly, I would light up my ass at night"
or
"She will twist her body to get to my genital pouch but first I will clean her vagina so she will only have my babies"
You MUST check this out.
Go.
Now!
or, at least check out the trailer:
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