Saturday, June 7, 2008


Awkward is trying to figure out how to get the manager at Krogers to re-ring some of your groceries without embarrassing the cashier...

I'm standing at Krogers in the check out line after braving the slow, unmotivated Saturday shopper crowds and idly watching my items get rung up. Not a huge trip, just a few odds and ends that caught my fancy for the next few days. The four puny, little carrots I picked up (.78 of a pound) rang up at 5.05 lbs... I watched this number slide by and it slowly dawns on my absent minded ass that that seems really heavy for 4 scrawny little sticks. Uncharacteristicly, I decide to actually speak up and ask to have that checked and re-rung.

Don't do this at Krogers if you can avoid it. The people behind you look at you with murder in their eyes. Anyhow, after the carrots get rung up two more times and different weights I realize what the problem is. Every time the short, plump cashier would lean over to ring in a produce code her enormous, somewhat pendulous breasts would land on the scale. So it was 3/4 a lb of carrot, 4 1/4 lbs of tit.

I tried to keep from laughing while the manager was eventually dragged over to check it out and correct the bill, and - as a gentleman - was really glad I didn't have to whip out the old Rocky Horror shout-back "Get your tits off my tank" in explaination...

(Truth be told, I kinda wish I had. So I did. Here. There I just sulked about the price of toilet paper... which, oh my god, is now the heavy-handed metaphor of "flushing money down the drain" gone wild. )

1 comment:

  1. I was at Kroger the other day (I usually shop at Bigg's) and I noticed how depressed everyone was. It was weird.