31 Flavors of Horror #5: Resident Evil: Extinction

 Another bloody video game zombie movie with waify chicks who kick ass in combat. It's a thing. I kinda love it. This one, like the rest, won't make you want to adopt a Rottweiler, nor will it make you want to visit Las Vegas. 

It will, however, make you hope you're a gorgeous, genetically-engineered model-slash-actress-super-ninja in the event that there ever IS a zombie apocalypse. Because, let's face it... I wrote this and you're reading this, meaning, my darlings, the chances that we are BOTH first-line cannon fodder in the event up an uprising of the undead are probably pretty stinkin' high...

31 FLAVORS OF HORROR #5:
RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION

The first thing you notice is that, like all of us, Milla Jovovich's face has changed over the years since the first Resident Evil (2002). It seems leaner, longer. It suits her well.  The second thing you notice is they re-framed a shot from the first film to excise her nipple from the proceedings...

We roll through a quick rehash of some footage from the first film so we can get to the third point. The third? Eww, there's a whole bunch of dead Alices and a slew of parched, dessicated zombies in the middle of the desert. Is that what happens when you eat the silica gel packs in shoe boxes? They even take a piece of footage from the last film, the CG satellite shot, and re-dress it for a parched Earth. I appreciate the frugality.

At this point in the storyline - and I've no idea if it echoes the video games - the very Earth is dying, and Alice roams the vast, parched wastelands looking for survivors. The sleek steel of the first film and jittery city grime of the second are replaced here with sun-bleached, parched lands of the American west. The red dress swapped out for a long duster. The sweaty browns remind one of the look of another grim third film, Alien 3. The first gang she encounters are a family of survivors in the Sawney Bean tradition of scavengers. Sadly, at this point, Alice's humanity has morphed into something along the lines of a "super-soldier" (her acrobatic ninja skills now supplemented with telekinetic skills) and she makes short work of them and their devil-dogs. Seriously, they devil-dogs are MORE than a little overplayed at this point - though the devil-ravens are beautifully cinematic touch.

(Lots of spoilers ahead) 

31 Flavors of Horror #4: Resident Evil: Apocalypse

This big month of horror flick reviews carries on with another in the Resident Evil series. While I didn't have that much I wanted to say about the first flick, I get a little more in-depth here... along with some sidetracking about outfits and the evils of smoking... but sidetracks are about par for me, so I just go with it.

31 FLAVORS OF HORROR #4
RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE 

Number two in a possibly endless series of Milla Jovovich movies where she kicks zombie butts, Apocalypse picks up right where the first one leaves off. This time, instead of letting us in with no knowledge like the amnesiac Alice, we pick up multiple plot threads with Dr. Ashford and Jill Valentine: a cop in a tube top who shoots four people, albeit zombies, in the head prior to our seeing her face. We also expand the setting from the underground "Hive" to a walled-off Raccoon City.

The story is so opened up, in fact, it feels less like a continuation of the first film than a character from it shoe-horned into a new, different zombie movie. They also sacrificed the crisp, clean aesthetic of the first film for a muddier, less focused look here. However, before long, and faithful to the video game roots, we've established a game board of locations, a set of loosely-drawn characters, and some goals - though nothing headier than "find the girl" and "get out." There's a reporter, a pimp, a child, some evil scientists and a bunch of cops. No one gets much in the way of personality, but it's not important.

(Lots of spoilers ahead) 

31 Flavors of Horror #3: Resident Evil

This week I continue the 31 Flavors of Horror with four from the same family - kinda like if one were chocolate, another chocolate chip, a third perhaps double chocolate, and the fourth... who'm I kidding? I have never been a huge fan of chocolate and it's a little early to pound the ice-cream allusions into the ground as I have a whole slew of Friday the 13th reviews coming up. 

Anyhow, let's roll through the Resident Evil series. It's my favorite series of video game-based zombie movies that feature the under-rated, seemingly always game Milla Jovovich.

31 FLAVORS OF HORROR #3:
RESIDENT EVIL 

I'm not a gamer. I've never played Resident Evil and some days can't tell an Umbrella from a Raccoon in real life, much less as part of the mythos a best selling series of video games. I do,at least, admire the massive construction project that "The Hive" would be.

Not knowing anything about the backstory kind of leaves the viewer in the same position as Alice in the beginning of the film. She wakes up with memory loss and has to put the plot-exposition pieces together along with the audience. (We, sadly, make no discovery that we're capable of flying roundhouse kicks.) A terrible bio-terrorism weapon has been let loose in the giant underground complex known as "The Hive," and only a singing model, a group of crack soldiers and Ugly Betty's boss can stop it from spreading and turning the whole world into zombies. Needless to say, they do a crap job of it or there wouldn't be three sequels (with a fourth pending).

31 Flavors of Horror #2: Shadow

 I've been saving this review for quite a while because I think it's a fresh take on the dreamy horror of Italian directors like Argento and Fulci, and the brutally abrupt tradition of bleak American horror directors like Tobe Hooper and Meir Zarchi... not to mention just crazy, insane Euro-horror goodness.If you haven't seen this one yet, and you're up for a bleak, "WTF" ride, I think you can't go wrong with Shadow. 

As a side-note, I actually discussed this film review, originally written for DVD Snapshot, in an interview, of all places.


Got the job, too...

31 Flavors of Horror #2:
Shadow

Official synopsis:

Director and co-writer Frederico Zampaglione's terrifying film recalls Sam Peckinpah's ferocious Straw Dogs and Tobe Hooper's horror classic The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, yet if feels as immediate as today's headlines. Jake Muxworthy plays a young soldier who embarks on a mountain-biking trip, walks into a cafe and meets the love of his life (Karina Testa). Unfortunately, he also meets a pair of violent hunters who make him their prey after he defends the young woman from their sleazy advances. But what appears at first to be a vicious cat-and-mouse game set in treacherous terrain turns into a full-blown nightmare when these adversaries become the captives of a mountain dweller who's depraved plans for them soon become all too apparent. Both a relentless horror film and a searing account of the brutal after-effects of war, Shadow is a scream-inducing descent into an abyss of unspeakable terror.

Our take:

The bad guys in Shadow are so obnoxious from the moment they show up that you might be tempted to tune out after the first scene. Between snotty bullying and impetuous murderous rage, they're cartoonishly evil backwoods rednecks with a European military spin, out to give someone a bad time.

David and Angeline meet the bullies, then “meet cute” biking in “The Pass of the Shadow,” a forest seemingly in Eastern Europe. He's evading memories of Iraq and surprised to hit it off with a beautiful French girl. They're quickly beset by murderous bullies (charmingly) named Fred and Buck. After the ensuing chase, it's almost over-kill when the second villain arrives, and they all become prey for someone even worse. From here Shadow stops reminding one of Deliverance and Straw Dogs and slides squarely into the Hostel land of “torture porn.”

31 Flavors of Horror #1: Hershell Gordon Lewis, The Godfather of Gore (One A Week Reviews #39)

I'm excited to start my 31 FLAVORS OF HORROR series of reviews to celebrate the favorite month of every horror movie fan and blogger, October. I'll be continuing my One A Week Reviews with each Saturday's post, but you can expect a different, tasty fright flick review every day of the month!


I'd like to also say a big "Thank You" to all the marvelous reviewers, bloggers, and podcasters who both inspire and encourage me. Many of you I get to see twice a year at HorrorHound Weekends, and I look forward to the next one!

So let's get started... and what better place to start than with a look at the very beginning of gore? It was a pleasure, and serendipitous timing, to receive a copy of this to review for  dvdsnapshot.com! This is a must-see, highly recommended documentary for any fan of genre cinema!



31 Flavors of Horror #1:

HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE

Official Synopsis:

Take an outrageous ride through the wild world of exploitation films with this often-hilarious documentary, Herschell Gordon Lewis, The Godfather of Gore!

Featuring interviews with cast, crew, and critics such as director John Waters, drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs, and Herschell Gordon Lewis himself, The Godfather of Gore traces Lewis' start in the innocent bare-naked world of “Nudie Cuties” before he shocked the world with Blood Feast, the first-ever gore film! Lewis then continued to assault audiences with such audacious shockers as She-Devils on Wheels, Blast-Off Girls, Just for the Hell of It, Two Thousand Maniacs!, The Gruesome Twosome, The Gore Gore Girls, and the incredible Wizard of Gore!

Experience a decade of motion-picture madness – with tons of clips, rare outtakes, and testimony from the people who were there – as Herschell Gordon Lewis, The Godfather of Gore leaves you laughing and screaming at some of the most amazing movies to ever play American movie theaters!

Our Take:

Blood Feast is a terribly made movie. It's nonsensical, the actors aren't great, the effects are awful, and it's technically inept. However, it was the first gore film, and the stories behind it and it's makers are pretty fascinating. It's the anchor around which Hershell Gordon Lewis, The Godfather of Gore is built. Something Weird video's love letter of a documentary to H.G. Lewis, perhaps the king of B-movie cynicism and creativity – not to mention the father of direct response marketing. He created the gore film, and was one of the kings of biker films and “Nudie Cuties.” These nudist films seem especially like curios, as they mostly consist of nude people walking away from the camera. As a bad photographer who always misses the moment, I can relate.